remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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