May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize