people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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