She said her name was "party"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
