We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
