and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
