remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize