Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Michael Bay diarrhea
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
