my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
