Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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