Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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