we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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