she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
