wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
