At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
