dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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