so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
