Sry I called you an 8
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
