p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
