the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
