a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
