I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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