Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
