she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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