im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
