Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My bed smells like the plague
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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