you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
