i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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