She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize