idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just found puke in my bra..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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