You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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