I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
