Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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