I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
