Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
