I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
