if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Randomize
