we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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