i was born a porn star she said
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
