So drunk its hurt
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
