Fuck appropriateness.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize