I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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