if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I wear drunk well.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
