Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
