new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
