Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
