quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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