you guys were way drunker than both of me
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
