I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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