i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Randomize
