I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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