She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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