It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
