sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
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I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
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I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
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