just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
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