First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
