is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
